Hey beautifuls! So I know it’s been a quiet couple of weeks but I had to lay off a bit because I was a bit sick. However, I am back and I am ready to get some interesting talks and discussions on the blog going.
So every new blog post has a new topic and today I thought we should talk about unity. I have always felt so strongly about women to women unity and it’s something I strive and stand for. Now, a lot of people might not know but I struggled with being judged, mistreated and “bullied” by other women in recent years. I am a feminist because I’ve experienced what it’s like being judged, criticized and devalued by men and women I don’t know personally. You know there’s that saying ‘Don’t take it personal if you don’t know them personally.’ Well, you really can’t help but take it personally, especially if it has got to do with you.
So many women are fighting for female equality in a patriarchal world. Yet, why do we still find instances where we, women fight against other women? Why are do we find so many examples of women who devalue, lesser and deal with one another negatively?
Now, I’m no psychologist but I’m simply speaking from the heart and from my own experience. I think the basis to understanding how we deal with one another as women, is first to understand ourselves personally – what we like, we stand for (our values) and what we strive for (our beliefs). The other thing to know is not everything needs your reaction whether it is negative and positive. I have had many negative situations where me being silent was the best thing I could’ve done for myself or the other person.
Last year, I lost some weight and at that point I was feeling my best. A girl approached me who I once stumbled upon in a mall months back said ‘Do you remember me? I used to know you when you were fat.’ Now, for those of you who have struggled with weight will know that weight can be a very sensitive topic and so no matter the person, being sensitive goes a long way. In that situation, I smiled and ignored that comment because I decided I wouldn’t let another person’s insecurities make me feel any less. Just because I kept quiet it didn’t mean I had nothing to say but I decided that I was not going to give that negative comment the power it wanted, which was for me to react.
The truth of the matter is that you won’t like everyone you come across but what will always make you a better person for yourself and others, if you treat every single person with the same respect, regardless of if they respect you or not. Your behavior should never change depending on the respect someone gives you. However, if it happens continuously you can draw the line but choose your battles to fight.
There is a quote I once posted on Instagram a few months ago from a writer (@mejgan_) that says:
‘Gentle Reminder: You can uplift yourself without having to bring others down. You can embrace your curves without having to insult skinny girls. You can appreciate your natural beauty without having to shame girls who wear a lot of makeup or have gotten plastic surgery. You can be the girl who likes staying home without having to criticize the girl who likes to party and have a good time. You can be proud of your unique individuality without having to brag about how different you are from “other girls.” Similarly, you can empower yourself without having to tear other women down.’ – Other Women Are Not Your Competition
The thing is, we ‘women’ go through the same things like periods, having a baby, emotions, pms, pubity etc. Yes, we might come from different backgrounds but making someone feel inferior doesn’t make you any more superior. Every woman has a purpose and gift and some of these is the gift of gentleness, nurture and love. So why don’t we use them? Why are we not gentle in the way we respond to someone we dislike or someone who is broken? Why can’t we nurture other women and girls that need guidance in their lives? And why can’t we love the unloved?
We as women do struggle at times to be equal in a male-dominated world. The only way we can get peace and equality is if we show respect towards other women, we empower, inspire and support one another so that we give the other sex something to learn about us. If we can’t lead by example, by showing males how we should treat one another as women, do you think they will respect us?
Now, I can go on and on about this but the my main point is that we as women can only gain more by bringing peace and unity amongst us. Women unity goes down to a lot and not many people look at it from different angles. If we want to be empowered, we must first empower someone else. If want to be respected, we must respect another. If we want to be loved and supported, we must love and support another. Give and you shall receive. The way we treat others has a lot to do with how we feel about ourselves and that’s why it’s sooo important to look after our souls and ourselves (mentally, emotionally and physically). Humble yourself before others, be positive and watch the world around you change positively.
What are your thoughts about how we treat one another as women? And have you ever experienced negative remarks from other's? How do you think we can change this?
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